My life with.. part 5

I don't remember which day it was. But it was nearly Christmas. It was chilly evening when our doorbell rang. We lived in big house at that time. We had moved just few months earlier into a big house. It was huge change from the tiny apartment we used to live. I still liked the spacious house with many rooms. I finally got my own room. Before that we had slept in a same room with my mothers.

We had big backyard and tiny carage now. My mom spent lot of her time to make the garden beautiful. Mom Julia helped her as much as she could but I think I helped her more since Julia had so long work commute.

My mom went to open the door. Julia was in the shower and I was watching tv. I didn't hear anything but suddenly Niki sat next to me. My heart skipped a beat and I just stared at them surprised. Niki didn't say a word but they seemed unhappy. My mom and Niki's mom went to kitchen and the two of us watched tv. I remember my mom called Julia to come down.

I was nervous when I turned my eyes to Niki. I looked her for a while and then asked what had happened. I remember my heart raced rapidly in my chest just because I was so nervous and concerned about Niki. Niki shaked their head not looking at me. They tried to avoid my eyes as they spoke: Dad hit mom really hard again.

Niki had told me many times that their father was a bit aggressive. Not a bit but a lot aggressive. Niki always said that I should be quiet about it. It was a secret, but I knew. Also Lukas, Alex, Henry and Jonas knew. We just didn't talk about it.

Now Niki told me that their father had hit their mom really hard. Way too hard. Niki told that they came to ask if they could stay at our place for a while. Just so that Niki's mom could arrange everything. So that they could get a safe place from Niki's dad.

My mom and Julie asked me to take Niki to shower with me. They had something to talk with Niki's mom and it wasn't good that we heard it. I took Niki to bathroom and we took long hot shower together. All the time Niki seemed really sad. It made me sad but I didn't know what could I say to them. I didn't have dad anymore. I haven't seen him in years not that I could even remember him.

My moms talked with Niki a long time and told them it wasn't their fault. Nothing was Niki's fault. Why would have anything been Niki's fault. There was nothing Niki could do to make their father stop being aggressive and scary.

Niki didn't want to sleep alone so I let them in my bed. Niki crawled next to me and hugged me really tight. So tight I felt like I could suffocate any moment. But I didn't. I hold them next to me and hugged them saying that everything would be fine tomorrow. I knew that it wasn't possible and I believe Niki knew it too but they nodded stating that I was right. But Niki continued that everything would be fine as long as I was there. I told them that I wasn't angel.. that I couldn't make everything to be fine but Niki laughed telling me that I should just shut up and let them hug me. We laughed together for a while before falling asleep.

After that day Niki and their mom lived with us. I really liked it. We spent a lot time together with Niki. Lot more than we had before. Few times Niki's father tried to call to Niki's mom but Emily wasn't interested. He even tried to visit our place but he was dead drunk and mom Julia ended up calling the police. They came and took Niki's father with them. Somehow I knew that Niki's mother had decided that they weren't going back to where they used to live.

Emily looked for a job all the time. She really tried her best to get her feet back to ground – so that she could rent an apartment and live with Niki. It was hard for her. My mothers told her that they could stay as long as they needed to. They were helping Emily with job applications and other stuff.

While Emily was alone at our house she often cleaned and cooked. She did laundry and took care of the garden. She wanted to do something just to repay all the kindness my two mothers had given to her and Niki. They became really good friends the three of them. I was secretly really happy that Emyly didn't find or get any jobs. As long as she didn't I could live with Niki. We were like best friends and sisters. I was really happy about that.

I once told Niki that it felt like we were sisters and they did correct right away that we were like siblings. I didn't understand it. I never did understand why Niki said that they weren't girl. It was confusing to me but I understood that Niki was really unhappy about it. They weren't really unhappy about their body.. but they didn't want to be girl. I knew that Niki was really jealous for boys. Because boys had stronger body. Because boys were often taller than Niki was.

When we went to sleep every evening I hugged Niki and told them that everything would be fine. Niki always nodded and said I was right. It was something we always did. We hugged and fell asleep together.

We had really nice Christmas. It was nice to have Niki and Emily around. Niki laughed now much more than before. They seemed much happier and more relaxed. It was nice. Really nice.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with... part 4.1

It started to get a bit cold while we sat on rocks. We all had changed our clothes. Henry and Jonas were talking about fishing. Alex listened to them. Lukas was throwing rocks into water. He searched for really flat ones and made them skip on top of the water. I was amazed how easy it looked. When I tried to throw a rock into water it wasn't so easy.

Niki laughed that it wasn't so easy as it seemed. They told me that I shouldn't use so much power and that I have to find the right technique. I didn't understand them. Lukas showed me few times how should I stand and how should I use my hand but I still didn't get it right. Lukas said that if I practice enough I will learn it eventually. But actually I never did.

One of Lukas' brothers came to tell us that we should head back to their home. I was more than happy to hear that. It was freezing in the evening even thought it had been really hot at day time. Niki borrowed me a hoodie, but I was still shaking.

Once we got back at Lukas' place his mother had made hot cocoa for us. It warmed us all really quickly. We all sat on couch and watched television while we were drinking the hot cocoa. I don't remember what show did we watch but I remember it was bad. Jonas fell asleep after he finished his glass of cocoa.

Lukas and Henry got an idea to play prank on him. The idea was simple – others went outside while Lukas stayed inside. He woke Jonas and took him outside. They were walking around the backyard when Lukas suddenly disappeared. Jonas was left alone in the dark to search for the rest of us. After a while Lukas and Henry jumpscared Jonas. They jumped right in front of him shouting out loud.

Jonas' face was just perfect. He really got scared. I didn't believe a boy could ever make so high voice as Jonas did. After he realised that there wasn't no reason to be scared he started to laugh.

”You really did startle me”, he sighed in relief. Lukas and Henry were laughing so hard that they had to sit down.

”You should have seen your face”, Lukas laughed. I walked to them laughing as well. I looked Jonas' face. He still seemed a bit scared but was really relaxed.

Footsteps startled us all. It ended up being Niki. They had flashlight with them and they were smiling really widely. We looked at them surprised. Niki pointed behind themself. They had found something they wanted to show. We followed Niki until they squatted down. I squatted next to them and looked what they was looking.

Niki turned off the flashlight and told us to look at the water. Lukas had tiny pond on their backyard. I saw the stars on the surface of it. I looked up. It really had darkened fast and it was cold. Niki told everyone to be quiet and pointed to the other side. There were ducks. One bigger one and many tiny ones.

”Whoa”, Lukas said quietly. ”I didn't know here was duck family.”

”So cool”, Niki giggled. They were right. It was really cool. Ducks didn't make noise. I guess they knew we were there. Mom duck took her ducklings behind the crass. We heard footsteps behind of us but we didn't see anyone. Lukas and Henry went running. We followed but as you could guess I couldn't keep up with them. Niki took my hand and drag me with them. We hided behind the playhouse. Alex followed. We went inside to playhouse. Niki went near to window and looked outside. We heard footsteps again and went down.

While the footsteps went over I heard two voices. They belonged to Lukas' brothers. They were looking for us. The tree of us stayed quiet. The footsteps had passed us and I didn't hear a thing anymore. Niki took few steps and went outside. They told us to follow them. We ran through the backyard. We went to terrace and hided again. Niki told me to wait there. So I did. Soon they got back with water guns. Niki had filled them and gave one to me and one to Alex.

Niki told that Lukas' brothers had had water guns with them. So we should try to make them wet first. Lukas ran to us. He told that his brothers were coming and we should hide. We splitted. I went with Niki and Alex went with Lukas. We hid behind playhouse again. Niki took peeks every now and then from the corner. I kept an eye on the other side.

I heard footsteps again. They were coming towards to us. I told Niki about it and they came behind me. I squatted and held my breath. I saw tall leg in front of me and shot the water gun upwards. So did Niki. I went running forward and Niki went to other side. I ran behind the house and stopped to breathe. Somehow Niki found me. They came to me laughing how it was awesome. We had made him wet and got away on top of that. We decided together that it was best to hide again.

We both did get wet many times after that but it was fun. The sun was rising when we stopped and went back to inside. After that I remember we did wash our teeth, took bath and change clothes. I fell asleep soon after that but I know so did everyone else.


The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with.. part 4.

Lukas had his birthday at late summer. He invited a lot of his friends but only few got an invitation to stay over the night. He called me and few others and asked us to take our swimsuits with us. My mom was hesitating at first but thanks to mom Julie my mom let me go.

I remember Alex was teasing Lukas about him having sleepover. It was girly, Alex said. Lukas didn't care. There were many older boys I didn't know. I had seen them in school yard playing soccer together but I hadn't talked to them. They were laughing when they saw me. One bigger boy asked whether I was Lukas' girlfriend. Other were asking why he had girl in his birthday party. Lukas made me really happy when he told others to shush. He stated that I wans't just a girl but I was one of the boys. It made me really happy.

Lukas' mother had made a huge cake for him. It was blue and there were stuff from Biker Mice from Mars. There was Modo on top of it. It was Lukas' favourite character. Niki was really amazed how good the cake was. Lukas was smiling proudly. His mother was working at bakery so no wonder the cake was so amazing.

We were playing a lot outside. Older boys were really fast runners. I couldn't have a chance against them. While we were playing a game like hide and seek I got found all the time.

One kicks the ball in that game. One goes to get it back to it's spot while others run and hide. When the ball is on back to its spot the searcher shouts "Ball on its spot". Then the searcher starts to search others. Once they see someone they run to the ball and shout the name of who they see. The one who is been seen can try to save themselves and run to the ball and kick it away. Then the searcher have to go get it back and those who has been seen can hide again. Once everyone has been found out the first one to been seen must be the searcher.

While Alex was searcher I hid in same place as Niki did. We were lying on our bellies in huge ditch. Niki poked me with their shoulder and nodded to left. I turned my head and saw Lukas and one of his friend hiding behind storehouse. Lukas waved his hand while giving us a sign to be quiet.

Niki laughed quietly and then told me that Lukas must like me a lot. Of course I didn't believe it but Niki laughed. They said that Lukas had a crush on me because he was all the time watching me so closely. I asked how would Niki know. They pressed me down and hiss. We heard running steps go by close to us. I felt like the time had stopped. My heart was beating fast and I heard Niki's beating heart too. Niki peeked up slowly and then gave a look on me.

"Because I always look at you", they said. They stood up and started to run fast towards the ball. I peeked after them but Lukas ran to me and pressed me down.

"That was close one. He almost saw you", Lukas smiled gently. I looked into his blue eyes while they kept eye on the searcher. Lukas told me to go behind them. I wondered why but hided behind him. Suddenly Lukas leaped forward and told me to run. I started to run towards the ball.

"Lukas you dick head!" I heard a shouting behind me. Soon Lukas ran past me and towards the ball. I looked as he went really fast.

"Kick the ball!" few who had been seen shout. But Lukas didn't kick the ball. He turned to look at me and told me to kick the ball. Of course I ran as fast I could. I kicked the ball as hard as I had ever kicked. The ball flew away. Everyone started to run so that they'd hide again. I followed Niki again. Lukas were following us too.

”That was amazing!” Niki laughed once we stopped. They and Lukas gave each other a brofist. Lukas said that I did great job too. Niki said that I was surprisingly fast just seconds ago. I was happy I got praised. I really gave my best back there.

In the evening when everyone else had left Lukas told us to take our swimsuits. I and Niki changed in bathroom while boys changed in Lukas' room. Lukas took us to the swimming gob which was near to his house. Alex and Jonas went running to pier and jumped into water. Once I got to pier with Niki they splashed water on us. Niki seemed to be a bit dissatisfied in their pink swinsuit. Jonas teased them about it. Niki jumped in to water totally pissed off. They splashed water on Jonas and told they would kick his ass once they got a hold of him. I laughed at them while I immersed my hands into water.

Lukas came next to me asking if the water was cold. Henry ran by and jumped into water. I saw glimpse of his blue swimsuit before he disappeared under the water. His head came to surface and his face was distorted to grimace. Henry shouted how the water was bloody cold. I laughed and dropped into water. Henry was right – the water was cold as sin. Lukas was the last one in water. He told that we all should jump down from diving board. The one who didn't do it, should not be his friend anymore.

I didn't want to do it, but I also didn't want to be left out. We swam to floating diving board and Lukas said that it must be the highest board. It's around 3 meters he said. I looked up there and swallowed. It looked so high. Henry went first and jumped down shouting "geronimo". Jonas laughed and jumped after him shouting "banzai".

Niki told that they would jump if I did. We climb the ladder up there and while I was waiting for NIki I looked down. It was a mistake - a huge mistake. I swallowed again and looked into Niki's eyes. I saw pure fear in their eyes too. We were scared but at least I wasn't the only one. Niki took a hold of my hand and together we stepped on the edge of the diving board. I held Niki's hand tight and so did they. One, two and tree and we jumped.

The drop was the most horrible part. I felt my tummy tickle while we dropped down into water. Niki didn't release my hand underwater. They pulled me closer and kissed my cheek before we got back to surface. I gave them surprised glance but all they did was quiet hiss. Lukas dropped right behind us which took my attention.

We all swam to shore. Lukas told that he had doubted would I jump or not. I told him that I did it because it was for them all. Lukas had took soda pop with him and while we sat on the sand we gaze to opposite shore and sunset. Lukas had taken two kinds of soda pops with him. Niki said it was because of me but Lukas said that he just wanted to drink something else than just Cola.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with... part 3.

We started spending more time together the seven of us. As long as we could we were playing soccer. Alex and Lukas fought a lot. I don't blame Lukas. Alex wasn't too good at it – at least at first. Lukas always said that even I was better at soccer than Alex was. That wasn't true. Niki helped me a lot. I was much more tinier than my friends. I also noticed that Lukas took it easy while I was around.

When the first snow fell we won our first match. It was against Back row boys and one of their friend. We had practiced a lot together. Alex got so much better at soccer and eventually he was almost the best. Henry was best simply because he played soccer as a hobby. He wasn't around at Tuesdays because he was playing with his team. Later he started to have rehearsals more often so he dropped out of team. He wanted to focus on school and on his friends.

Once autumn was over and winter came we started to visit ice rink daily. Others were playing hockey together. I only watched them since I didn't know how to ice-skate. Also their playing looked really rough. Boys had seen how the real players tackle others and of course they had to mimic. Lukas who was biggest didn't use all his power. I guess he didn't want to hurt us. Once Lukas tackled Niki really hard because Niki provoked him. Niki got big bruise on their side. Niki said it didn't hurt and laughed. Later they cursed how much it hurts.

Once Niki brought their old skates with. They told me to put the skates on. Lukas helped me to tie the laces so that I don't break my ankles. Niki pushed me on my feet and told me to take a hold of their hockey stick. And oh boy how hard I held that stick. At first Niki pulled me slowly and told me how I should use my legs. All I remember was that I just watched my feet as we slide on that icy rink. Niki was laughing when boys played trick on me. Jonas made circles around us. I looked at him when I lost my balance. I fell and all of them started to laugh as hard as they could. Later on Alex apologized that he had poked my legs with his hockey stick.

As I got better at skating Niki started to pull me faster. It was fun sometimes. Once Niki lost their balance and we slide into snow banks. Luckily it wasn't wall or anything. Niki was back on their feet fast. They jumped back on ice swearing like a pirate. They didn't do it when our parents were around. Our parents would have told them to stop.

We had our first fight with Niki when it was almost summer. Our teachers didn't like it that we always were on the same team. They told us that we should be team leaders while playing Capture the flag. So we did as they told us to do. And you won't believe what Niki did! They cheated. We used orange shirts as a flags and Niki put it on theirself. We couldn't capture it because of it.

We didn't talk anything to each others at school. But after school we went to the park as usually. We started arguing with Niki. It ended up to wrestling. We were so pissed at each other that we didn't even hold back. Both of us got one black eye and other bruises. Once we were too tired to fight we just laughed on the ground. Niki helped me to stood up and we went to buy ice cream. We saluted ourselves for winning the fight. Niki poke my ice cream with theirs. And we definitely didn't tell about it to our parents. It was our little secret.

We told our parents that we had fell. I don't believe they took any of it but they didn't say a word. Niki was pretty sure they believed our explanation. Boys weren't believing that we had fought. Niki told them everything. We were so much together that boys found it hard to believe. They demanded that once we were going to fight again we'd had to call them to see it.

All of us got trough our grade. We were joking about our grades. Alex and Kari were teasing Henry for his good grades and Niki was teasing them for their bad grades. Kari almost didn't pass first grade – again. We helped him a lot so that he at least learned to read. Alex was bad at math. It really didn't matter to us at that time. We had just passed first grade and boys had passed second grade.

On the first day off from school we took our bikes and drove to the edge of our village. There was big soccer ground. We left our bikes there and ran to the woods. Jonas had found perfect place to be our tree house. We build it whole day and few days after that. It wasn't actually in the tree. And it wasn't so gorgeous we wanted it to be but it was something we did together. We spend there a lot time. Every morning we met up there. When someone didn't show up we went to search for them.

One day when I got to our tree house someone had broke it. Jonas was angrier than ever. He swore that we would build Fort Woods again. It would be even better that this one so that no one could ever broke it again. Well we didn't build our tree house again. Henry managed to persuade Jonas that it wasn't so important.

Lukas told me that he didn't want to build tree house in the first place but he helped since we all seemed so happy. In the end he had liked it too. Lukas told me also that he knew who broke it but he asked me to not tell anyone. And I didn't. I only mentioned Niki about it but Niki didn't really care. They said that it was fun as long as it lasted but it was pointless to keep thinking about it since it was already gone.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with.. part 2.

Few days after the incident had happened with the boys from second grade, the one I had hit came to us again. Niki did ignore him at first but then he sat down and watched us playing. Niki asked why did he stare our play. The boy told that he wanted to play too. Niki was wondering didn't boy have his own Pokémon cards and friends to play with. The boy just shook his head.

I stood up and settled right next to Niki telling the boy to play with my cards. But I told him to not to break any cards which he didn't do. The boy was really good at playing. Even Niki had hard times to play against him. That was an surprise for me. I had thought that Niki was best of the best. Might have been just my childish imagination. Niki was so much bigger than I was.

The boy told that his parents didn't let him buy Pokémon cards. They thought they were useless. The boy had played with his friends but then they had told him to get his own cards. Niki didn't feel any compassion for him. They just either ignored his talking or said something cruelly. The few months I had know Niki I knew they might be really cruel from time to time. It was because of other people. They had made Niki cruel with their behavior. With me Niki was more relaxed and gentle.

I asked Niki would they like to come over my place in the evening. It was Friday so there wasn't worries about homework and other stuff. We could finally play my Playstation together. Niki said that they had to talk with their parents first. They'd love to come but since my moms were lesbians Niki's father wouldn't let them come. The boy wanted to come too. He wanted to play too. We agreed to meet up in the park which was near to the market.

My moms were happy I have had friends. They told that Niki and the boy – Jonas could come. Kari was also coming. My mom promised to buy snacks and soda pop for us. I was really excited. We visited the market with my mom and after that we went to the park to wait Niki and others. Niki came first with their mom. Niki seemed a bit nervous. Our moms greeted each other and started to talk together. Niki's mom seemed really nervous at first but once she noticed that my mom is just a normal person she relaxed.

Niki had told that their parents knew about my moms. But they forgot to mention that their mom felt uneasy about that. I already knew Niki's father hated my moms. We had met him once at market. He pulled Niki away from me and told my moms to keep me away from his child. Niki told him that we were best friends but he didn't listen.

Niki's mom let Niki stay over night at our place. She said that she won't tell to Niki's father the whole truth. Mom called Niki by their real name which made them a bit angry, but it only happened once. My mom apologized and promised to call them Niki. I was happy my mom understood. Of course I wondered why Niki hated their real name but I hadn't enough courage to ask it. Later when I asked about it Niki told that Anna-Lisa was too defining. It was too feminine.

I admit it would be really confusing to call them with name Anna-Lisa. Niki had cut their hair really short. They only used really big shirts and their clothes weren't girlish like mine. I had My Little Ponies and Niki had Biker Mice from Mars.

Jonas brought his friends with him. There was quiet boy named Alex. Once he got Playstation controller on his hands he wasn't so quiet anymore. Alex had dyed his hair black without his mom's permission and was cool because of that. We all respected him. He was oldest one. Then there was Henry. He was really good friend with Jonas and those two kind of were the leaders of our group. Henry was really outgoing and talkative. He often just sat with my mom in kitchen and talked with her. I still don't know what were they talking about. The last but not least was Lukas. Lukas was a bit cold boy. He fight a lot with his brothers but also with other boys too. He was tough guy and tallest of us. Once we got older he was that kind of guy who took ours back since no one didn't want to pick a fight with him.

We played whole evening together. Alex took few games with him. Most of the time we played Crash Bandicoot since boys wanted to play it trough. I was bad gamer but boys didn't care. They were encouraging me while I did my best. They think it was fun how I tilt my body as I tried to make the character jump or turn.

Niki started to spend their Friday nights over my place. Our moms organized it that way. At that time I didn't know why but later Niki told that their dad beat them a lot at home. Niki's mom thought it would be good to her child to spend time in our house. Even if my moms were lesbians Niki's mom trusted them. Niki once came behind our door after their dad had hit them. Mom Julie called to Niki's mom and told she'd stay over our place. Niki's mom agreed. In the morning she came to get Niki back to home. So that she could get ready for school.

But Friday evenings. Those were our time. Just me and Niki. We sat on our couch and watched Ugly Betty from dvd. We both loved the character Mark. Michael Urie did his role magnificently. Mark was stereotypical gay – really annoying and petty but also really loveable. I and Niki sat really close to each others. We had one red blanket going over our bodies. Niki usually had grey pajamas and I had green. We laughed and talked about the story and characters. Once in awhile Henry accompanied us. Other boys thought Ugly Betty was too girly for them.

My mom had bought us soda pop and snacks. Niki wanted to have potato chips and I wanted ice cream. We usually got only potato chips but once in a while mom Julie bought me ice cream. My mom thought I'd get fat if I ate too much ice cream. Like potato chips were any better.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with... part 1.

I haven't seen my dad for many years. One night my mom just took what she needed and left my dad. I remember she sent divorce papers by mail. Dad wasn't cooperating at first but eventually mom got those papers.

At that time mom always said that everything will be fine. Once Julia came to our life everything ended up being really good. My mom started to laugh again. She was happy woman again. My mom sang happily again while she cooked or cleaned our little apartment. Julia adopted me so now I have two mothers.

It was really confusing at first. I couldn't understand why I didn't have father but I had two mothers. I wanted to see my dad at first but then I kind of forgot him. After few months it was my daily life. I lived with two loving moms. I'm not complaining. Of course from time to time I wanted to see my dad, but I also understood it wasn't possible.

When I was 7 our family moved again. It was the sum of unfortunate coincidences. My mom got a job from tiny village and my other mom – Julia got fired from her job. Both of them were social workers.

Soon after we moved mom Julia got new job. She is great person and even better in her job. She had to travel for two hours with train. But she never complained about it. My mother Katy was many times unhappy with mom Julia's job but she was also happy that mom Julia got something to do.

I know there wasn't any good reason to kick out mom Julia. Many just didn't like the fact she was a lesbian. I remember those unbelieving looks in peoples face when we visited markets. No one didn't say a thing. Still they just stared and whispered with each others. My moms didn't care about what other people thought.

I started school in new village next autumn. The very first school day was sunny. Some of the birch leaves were a bit yellowed. But only very few. I was really tense. I didn't want to start the school. That would mean I don't have time to play my Playstation. That also meant that I don't have time to anything – in the end I was just sitting in one room whole day long. My mom tried to comfort me saying that we'd have breaks too. Fifteen minutes in every hour. I didn't believe them.

School's playground was full of children. There were first graders like me. All of them had expectant and nervous look in their eyes. I must have looked like as tense as they were. My mom had talked the whole trip from home to school. She had talked about Julia and about their work. She might even have told me that she was coming to pick me up after school but I don't recall.

I heard many new names in first day. Our class had 20 pupils and two teachers. Both of our teachers seemed really bored most of the time. Other one wasn't actually even around most of her time. The other one had sometimes hard times to look after all of us. Especially the six boys from back row made her days rough. They often were throwing pieces from their erasers. Once one of them cut huge wound in the middle of his hand while they were playing with scissors.

There were also two older ones in our class. They had not reached the second grade. Other was Kari, boy who hadn't learned to read. Other was a girl named Anna-Lisa. They was quiet one from the very beginning. When teacher said 'she' Anna-Lisa corrected 'they'. No one wasn't them friend. They didn't look like a girl but neither did they look like a boy.

I once asked was Anna-Lisa boy or girl. Anna-Lisa answered that they was person. I nodded and told that I was person too but I was also girl. Anna-Lisa asked me to call they with name Niki. So I did. I stopped using pronouns 'she' and 'he'. Instead we used 'they' while talking about each other.

I got many friends. Little by little everyone else but Niki started to recede away. Kari spend a lot time with us too. It was tiny village. I kind of knew that would happen eventually. I heard many times insults like 'freak's daughter'. I didn't understand what it was all about. Not before the 'Back row boys' asked me whether I had two moms or not. Of course I said proudly that I had two moms. I also realised that I got bullied because of my two moms.

Niki stoodd a moment in silence. I was terrified that they might leave me too. Instead Niki raised their middle finger and told Back row boys to fuck off. I will never forget their faces. It was so hilarious. Those six boys had their eyes widened bigger than ever and they just stared Niki. Niki stepped forward. They was really angry which scared those six boys away.

They turned to look at me. Niki's eyes were sad even they looked really angry.

”Thanks” I said and swallowed slowly.

We started to be together more and more with Niki. We both brought our Pokémon cards into school and Niki taught me to play with them. It was late fall when we were sitting in school yard playing our cards. Almost all of the leaves had dropped town but it wasn't wet. Niki had two boards for our cards. We often went to aside so that we could play in peace. I was terrible at it but Niki never got bored to give advises to me. One day we were playing again when few boys from second grade came. They were calling Niki with names like 'lesbian' and 'freak' and some other discusting names. Niki told them to sush many times but they didn't listen. I hadn't seen those four never, but it seemed that they knew Niki.

I stood up and looked the closest one in to the eyes. I don't know why but I hit his face as hard as I could ever hit. The boy lost his balance. He shouted angrily that I was crazy while he was holding his tears. He had raised his hand to his cheek. I just told him to be quiet and leave. The teachers had noticed the incident and of course they had to call my moms.

I had to wait after school so that my moms arrived. Niki also stayed and so did the boy I had hit. My moms arrived first and before they had said anything Niki stood up and told it was their fault. That I had defended them. My mothers didn't believe them at first. I of course said it was because of Niki. The boy had said many discusting things I didn't want him to say – not to Niki. Mom Julie sighed and sat next to me. She had smile on her face while she talked to me. She told that I can't hit others just because they say something I don't want to hear.

We talked to teachers for a long time. At least it felt like forever. My moms didn't like the way teachers talked to them. Mom Julie and mom both asked what had teachers done when they heard that boy picked fight with us. Teachers just blamed me. My moms didn't give up until the teachers got principal on scene. They talked a lot about bullying which had happened a lot in our school.

When they finally were ready we step into corridor where Niki was still waiting. I asked why they still where there. Niki grabbed my hands and said that I should never again defend them with force. I didn't get the point but I promised I won't do it again.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

Hyvää huomenta

Kolme kuukautta sitten on tullut viimeksi kirjoitettua mitään xD oho.
Olen melko paljon tässä hoidellut vain omia henkilökohtaisia juttuja ja kirjoitellut silloin tällöin toiseen blogiini.

Olen myös taas intoutunut piirtämään sekä kirjoittamaan, joten paljon aikaa on mennyt vain omien tekstien kirjoittamiseen sekä läpi lukemiseen ja uudelleen kirjoittamiseen.
Koitan tässä nyt joku päivä oikeasti rohkaista mieleni ja saada tänne muutaman ensimmäisen sivun teksteistäni julkaistua. Onpahan sitten luettavaa ja mahdollisesti kommentoitavaa :D

Toivoisin että tekstini saisivat palautetta niin hyvää kuin huonoakin, että pystyn alkaa kehittämään kirjoittajan taitojani ihan kunnolla ;) Eihän se ilman palautetta oikeen onnistu.. mutta ennen sitä pitäisi löytää se rohkeus julkaista niitä omia tekstejään.

Kesäkuu on ollut sateinen etten sanoisi :D ja ei tämä heinäkuun alku näytä yhtään paremmalta. On tullut oltua tosiaan melko paljon sisällä ja piirreltyä ynnä muuta.

Tein itselleni vihdoin myös Deviantarttiin tunnukset.. en ole sinne vielä saanut paljoa aikaiseksi mutta linkkiä tästä : http://littlesmallsonya.deviantart.com/
Käykää jos joudatte niin vilkaisemassa :3

Hyvää loppukesää kaikille!

Sukupuolineutraali avioliittolaki: LÄPI MENI!

Kuten jo otsikosta voi päätellä, sukupuolineutraali/tasa-arvoinen avioliittolaki meni eduskunnan äänestyksestä läpi.

ISO KIITOS kaikille puolesta äänestäneille. Kunniamaininta myös Arja Juvoselle, joka äänesti puolueensa kantaa vastaan.

Moni on sitä mieltä ettei tämä asia ole tärkeä ja ei sitä voi sanoa ihmisoikeuskysymykseksi.
Mutta siis, onhan tämä. Suomi on demokraattisesti niin kehittynyt maa, että kyllä sukupuolineutraalin avioliiton puuttuminen voidaan laskea ihmisoikeuskysymykseksi.

Mielipide saa kaikilla olla! Tästä tuloksesta ei ole pakko pitää.
Ne jotka äänestivät vastaan omaavat varmasti hyvän syyn olla asiaa vastaan, mutta jotkin perusteet ovat minusta olleet vain typeriä. Just saying.

Minusta ihminen saa rakastaa ketä haluaa ja mennä hänen kanssaan naimisiin, jos sitä tahtoo - tällä ei kuitenkaan ole mitään tekemistä kirkon kanssa. Kirkko ja valtio on erotettu toisistaan kun Suomi itsenäistyi. (mielestäni on siis typerää vedota Raamattuun ja "Jumalaan" asian tiimoilta.)
Ja sanotaan näin että en itsekään tahtoisi mennä ja rikkoa sitä kuvaa mikä avioliittoon kuuluu miehestä ja naisesta (sekä lapsista), mutta koska rekisteröityyn parisuhteeseen ei olla saatu minkäänlaisia muutoksia aikaan, ei ole mielestäni ihme tai väärin että ihmiset vetävät asian äärimmäisyyden kautta.

Minä olen sukupuolineutraalin avioliittolain puolella, jotta me kaikki voisimme olla samalla viivalla lain silmissä. Sillä ei ole mitään tekemistä sen kanssa että haluaisin kirkkoon hääni. Pysyn mielihyvin poissa, mutta haluan kuitenkin samat oikeudet itselleni ja kumppanilleni kuin teille, jotka olette avioliitossa. (adoptio-oikeuteen en tällä hetkellä vielä kommentoi mitään.)

Jos minä jotain olen uskonnostani oppinut kun sitä on minulle tuputettu, niin Jumala on todella julma. Ensin hän antaa anteeksi ja yhtäkkiä sinä oletkin syntinen ja joudut helvettiin. Muistuttaisin Raamatun olevan hyvin vanha kirja ja sitä ei edes voi enää tulkita suoraan kirjaimellisesti (muuten meistä puolet oltaisiin kai jo kivitetty hengiltä). Ja minä en halua uskoa sellaiseen Jumalaan joka tuomitsee ja rankaisee - se olisi itsemurha. Olen siis mieluummin uskomatta siihen Jumalaan, joka tuomitsee ihmisen, joka on oma itsensä, ikuiseen kadotusjuttujuttuun. Elämästään kuuluu nauttia, ei pelätä.


Kiitos puolesta äänestäneille :) Tänään tässä maassa on helpompi hengittää. Suuri kivi putosi monen harteilta - ja moni nosti sen kiven harteilleen.
Kiitos että sallitte meille tällaisen pilkahduksen hyvää, kaiken tämän kaamoksen ja epävarmuuden keskelle.

Ylen Pride-teemaviikko

Minun kantani tähän aiheeseen on positiivinen. Hienoa Yle!!

Minusta tällainen on vain mahtava asia Suomen kannalta. Mahtavaa, että Yle uskaltaa ottaa kantaa "näinkin kauhistuttavaan asiaan."
Katsoin Yle Teemalta illan aikana kolme homouteen liittyvää ohjelmaa - dokumentteja kaikki. "Kun nainen rakastaa naista", "Homomiesten maailma" sekä "Stephen Fry homofobian jäljillä." Jos ette näitä katsoneet, katsokaa illalla seuraavat jaksot ;) (pahoittelut mainonnasta). Areenasta jaksoja ei valitettavasti löydy - ei ole Suomessa oikeuksia näyttää netissä.


Pointtina tässä oli että nämä kolme ohjelmaa saivat minut ajattelemaan. Stephen Fry tapasi muun muassa naisen, joka oli 14-vuotiaana tullut raiskatuksi homoutensa vuoksi. Todella surullista kuinka Ugandassa asiat ovat kyseisellä tolalla. Raiskausta kutsuttiin "parantavaksi raiskaukseksi" tai vastaavaa ja heidän kansanedustajansa salli.. SIIS SALLI raiskauksen, jos se tehdään oikealla tavalla.
- Millainen ihminen sallii, että mies saa raiskata naisen (kun tekee sen oikein), mutta että ei salli homoutta? Miten ihmisen voi edes raistaka oikein? Stephen Fry heitti kyllä tosi mahtavia mielipiteitä ja ajatelmia asiaan.

Tässä myös illan mittaan luin sattumalta aamulehti.fi:stä, kuinka Pentti Oinonen on sitä mieltä että kuppareista saa paremman teemaviikon aikaiseksi kuin homoista. Oinonen, sinun ajatuksesi siitä, että kyseistä pientä vähemmistöä nostetaan ylemmäs kuin muita, on periaatteessa jalo ajatus, mutta samalla hyvin rasistinen.

Mitä sitten jos Yle tukeekin eduskunnan käsittelyssä olevaa aloitetta tasavertaisesta avioliitosta? Sellaisen asian tukemisessa ei ole mitään väärää. Nyt eletään vuotta 2000 JA 14. (2014) Ei vuotta 1800.

Minä tiedän kuinka kapeakatseisia ihmiset ovat. Tämä teemaviikko, on minusta hieno tapa tuoda esiin asioita, joista on olemassa harhaluuloja.
Kukaan ei ole sanonut, ettei Yle vuoden mittaan mahdollisesti järjestäisi muunkin kaltaisia teemaviikkoja. Voisiko seuraava teemaviikko käsitellä aihetta siitä, kuinka politikot ajavat maatamme alas? Kuinka kaikki se jolla on tarkoitus parantaa Suomen kansan oloja, aiheuttaakin mahdollisesti vain pahempia ongelmia. Voiko seuraava teemaviikko käsitellä itsekkyyttä? Sitä kuinka nämä "meidän" äänestämämme ihmiset eivät kyllä meidän puoliamme pidä!

Nyt joku sanoo että kansanedustajan työ on raskasta. Olkoot! On moni muukin työ raskasta. Monesta muusta työstä ei saa edes samoja etuja kuin, mitä nämä ihmiset saavat. Jätetään tämän käsittely nyt tähän.

Olen kuitenkin vahvasti sitä mieltä, että tämä teemaviikko ei lainkaan ollut huono veto. Jos joku on niin kapeakatseinen että oksentaa jo ajatuksesta niin mene vessaan ja oksenna. Jos taas olet valmis haastamaan itseäsi ja arvomaailmaasi, ota asioista selvää (vaikka tällaisten ohjelmien kautta) ja avarra maailmaasi.

"100% heteroista" tuskin pääsemme koskaan, emmekä varmaan edes kaikista ennakkoluuloista, mutta toivon todella että myös seksuaali- ja sukupuolivähemmistöt sekä muut vähemmistöt saavat sen mikä meille joillekin on itsestään selvyys - tunnustus ihmisenä, omana itsenä ja ajattelevana olentona, joka on muiden kanssa samalla viivalla. Ei huonompi tai parempi vaan he ovat meidän kanssamme tässä ja nyt omina upeina persoonoinaan (pahoittelut jos edellä oleva sana on väärin taivutettu).

Päivitetään Bitchy-chan!

Eli tosiaan minun ihanainen kumppani meni ja hankki minulle uuden emolevyn sekä prosessorin tietokoneeseen. Päivittäkäämme siis tietoja Bitchy-chanin syvästä sisimmästä.

Uusi prosessori on AMD A8 6600K
Emolevy MSI A88X-G45 Gaming Limited Edition. Mukaan siihen tuli Assasin's Creed Liberation HD.

Emolevy on sellainen ihan näppärän näköinen, punaista ja mustaa :D ja paljon juttuja joista minulla ei ole mitään hajua, mutta yrittäkää ymmärtää. Prossussa pyörii integroituna AMD Radeon HD8570D -näytönohjain. Bitchyn uusi ja korjaili jälleen kerran tämä minun parempi puoliskoni, kun ei malttanut näppejään pitää paketista erossa. *~huokaus~ Voi piiiip!!*

Eniweis kun sitten joskus itse koneeni päkerrän kun vain saan siihen mahdollisuuden, ne saatsan johdot tulee niin hiton tarkoin laiteltua paikalleen, että ei tarvii purkaa koko konetta kun yhden osan vaihtaa :D Ainakin tämä on perfectionistinen mielipiteeni. Yrittäkää ymmärtää tarkkaa "kaiken pitää olla täydellisesti" näkemystäni.

Kuvia laitan sitten myöhemmin tähän. Voitte myös käydä katsomassa sellaisesta blogista kuin Hardware Metal
Jälleen jos tulee kysymyksiä, niin kysykää pois vain.